Faith and Fear

At the end of 2013 we made a decision that 2014 would be a year of change.  

We had celebrated our son's college graduation and felt that the sacrifices and struggles that we faced to build a stable life and give him the opportunity to step into adulthood with a good foundation and education had come to fruition. It was (and is) a feeling of intense satisfaction. And, it provided a sense of closure to a period of our lives-- parenting would be different going forward.   

So what now? What about us?

We both had stable jobs, a nice home and very routine lives that kept us busy.  But busy does not always translate to fulfilling -- and the more we contemplated the day-to-day routine of our lives the more we realized that we wanted more. Not more material things...not more trappings or things to keep us busy...we wanted more freedom and we wanted (actually needed) more adventure. So in essence we decided we needed much less of what we currently have...and that it was time to simplify and change.

But how do you go about breaking out of a 22+ year routine? 

By facing your fears and taking a chance. The call that came in from the Yellowstone Association with the job offers for the 2014 Summer Season in Yellowstone National Park was that chance.  And in a surreal moment -- we accepted -- and then spent the rest of the following days in a daze not believing what we had done. Don't  get me wrong -- we had dreamed and planned for this for years. But dreaming and planning, and actually taking action to set the plan in motion where two different things.

In the months that followed, I could feel two feelings creeping up from the pit of my stomach. 

The first was fear. Are we nuts? Leaving a good job of 20+ years with benefits and stability at a huge financial firm? My husband, leaving the fire service after working so hard to advance his career in our home town fire department.  The fear was gripping and tangible -- it came in these cold waves that would give me chills and goosebumps. I could feel the surge of fear and panic inside me -- what if this is the wrong choice? What if this decision hurts everything that we've worked so hard for?

The second feeling was different. It was warm and steady. I could feel it rising from my gut to take the chill of fear away when the panic set in. It wasn't an icey blast ...it was a warm ember. It was Faith.  Burning low hot it was a fire inside me that I had not felt in a while--- a passion for life, adventure and the thrill of breaking out of the routine and trying something new.  To all of the "what if's" that my fears brought to mind it would answer, "why not?". It was the twinkle in our eye as we talked about beginning this adventure.

So we continue to move forward in Faith and prepare for a new future.

Today is the start of our future lives -- 

I've officially retired from the bank, James left the fire service and is home for North Dakota and Jimmy received his official invitation to serve from the Peace Corp.  We received our campsite assignment from the Yellowstone Association and we are one week from launching on the adventure of our lives.

Lots to do...but taking a moment to take it all in and realize how blessed we really are.

James' Farewell Celebration from the Orange City Fire Department at O'Leary's in Debary.