Last week, I ordered Jimmy's cap and gown for his college graduation.
It's hard to believe that in less than two months he will walk onto the stage at the UNF arena and receive his Bachelor's degree. James and I could not be more proud. It has been such a blessing to watch him work hard and become the amazing young man that he is.
These past two weeks I've found myself reflecting on our journey as parents -- the things that we've done right ( and wrong) that have gotten us to this point. A friend once told me that we should write a book about parenting (which I'm sure was meant as a compliment and not literally). But as I reflected about our journey this week, I thought I'd share a few of things that worked for our family:
1. Be a United Front -- If I had to pick one word that is critical to parenting it is: CONSISTENCY. Children need discipline, boundaries and rules at home so that they can learn self control and how to function in society. It is not uncommon for parents who come from different backgrounds to disagree on parenting methods. It is important come to an agreement and to always back each other up...
consistently.
2. Instill a Love of Lifelong Learning - When they are little...Read, Read, Read...and then Read some more. Children develop a language skills and creativity by being read to. Reading to, and with, your child creates a bond. James would read to Jimmy even before he was born, and some of our best childhood memories with Jimmy are of reading books together. Help them explore their interest through books and educational material. Talk to them early in life about the importance of going to college. When they're school aged, be involved in their education and make sure that their self-esteem isn't tied to academic performance. Encourage them in the subjects that they are good in, and help them in the ones that they need help in. We are all made up of strengths and weaknesses. It is important to balance the pressures that schools can create with testing and ranking and not let those things damage their self-esteem or turn them off to education.
3. Put your Money where your Mouth is - Invest in your child's education. If you tell them it's important for them to get an education...then show them that you believe in them by investing (even a little bit) in their future and encourage them to learn fiscal responsibility and restraint by encouraging them to save some of their own money for their future. We invested in Florida Prepaid college. We could not be more grateful that we made that investment...even during the times when it was difficult for us financially. Jimmy earned several scholarships and Bright Futures but the cost of a college education (even at an in-state public university) is very costly. We could not have done it had it not been for the Florida Prepaid investment.
4. Responsibility and Rights of Passage - Teach the importance of responsibility at a young age. It seems that too often we associate rights of passage with the "freedoms" that they will bring without teaching that freedom is counterbalanced by responsibility. James and I were strong believers that helping with chores, and maintaining good grades were Jimmy's "responsibilities", and by demonstrating to be responsible then he would "earn" his privileges and freedoms. But it needs to start at a very young -- that way they learn the importance of making good choices-- before the choices become "bigger" and more significant.
These are just four principles that stand out from our journey through parenthood and just a glimpse at some of the things that I think made a difference for us.
Its been an incredible journey.
It seems like just yesterday I was writing this letter Jimmy when he went off to college...as I read it now, I'm amazed at how many of his dreams he fulfilled in his short time at UNF...
..and as usual, I can't wait to see what lies ahead for our family after graduation.
